And I'll Love You
by JJ Louise
Summary: Follows my other stories "Dead Decisions" and "Letters to Sookie".  Eric and Sookie have lived a long life together.  Eric tells Sookie their story.
1. The Speed of Pain

**Just an idea I started to toss around a few days ago. Spawned from a very sad but amazing story I heard from a friend.**

**Follows my previous stories "Dead Decisions" and "Letters to Sookie"**

**Please let me know what you think so far.**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"Get out. Leave me alone." she said to me, but I knew she wouldn't really have meant that if she knew who I was.

"Oh, but we need to finish the story. Don't you want to know what happens next?" I asked.

"No. It's to sad. You're upsetting me." she replied. She was facing away from me. Scarlett could hear her from the other room, and came in to join us.

"Mom, don't you want to hear the rest of it? You love this story." she said as she sat by her mother's side. Her mother was in bed. She had a hard time getting around these days.

"No." she replied. "Where's Sam? I want to see Sam. I should be getting ready for work." And with that, she tried to get out of bed. Scarlett stopped her.

I hated that she remembered the shifter, and not me.

"Mom, you don't have to work tonight. Look, you have a visitor. See?" Scarlett said, and pointed to me.

Sookie turned to me. She stared long and hard. I was hoping that tonight was one of the good nights. One of the nights that she remembered who I was. I could see her straining, but it was no use. The light of remembrance that was starting to spark in her eyes died away. Scarlett noticed it leaving.

"Sorry Dad." she said, and got up to leave the room. I followed our daughter to the kitchen. "She hardly remembers me anymore now. Most days…" she started to say, and trailed off. Tears welling in her eyes. I embraced my child.

"Of all the things to inherit from your mother." I said, and wiped away a tear and smiled down at her. Sookie had ruined countless garments of mine over the years simply by crying. Our daughter had done the same. "Where is Pamela?" I asked.

My daughter dried her eyes. "Asleep. I tried to keep her up for you, but she was exhausted. You can try and wake her if you want."

I headed up the stairs to my granddaughters room. I opened her door slowly. She was sound asleep. I couldn't bring myself to wake my sleeping angel. I turned and began to shut the door when I heard her speak.

"Farfar?" she said. I peeked my head back in and smiled at her. She jumped out of bed and I lifted her into my arms and held her to me.

"Hello min ängel. Why are you awake so late? Små änglar borde sova." I said and kissed her nose.

"Farfar." she giggled. I loved that she called me grandfather in Swedish. I was teaching her Swedish while she was young, and could absorb a second language easier. Her grandmother only understood some phrases when she was younger, and I had started to late with her mother, so she was not much better. But my granddaughter and I would speak fluently in Swedish. Although, at her mothers request, I tried to speak English around her more often. Pamela was speaking Swedish to everyone now, not understanding that no one else in Bon Temps spoke it.

I stood there and cuddled my granddaughter to me. I hummed nothing in particular to her while I rocked her in my arms. She was soon asleep again, and I laid her back in bed, and tucked her in. I went back downstairs to rejoin my daughter.

"You want a True Blood?" she asked when I joined her in the kitchen. I shook my head that I didn't. She was washing dishes. I went to her side and helped her dry them.

"I will move back here." I said.

"Dad, it's just going to upset Mom. You know that."

"It's not right that I am away."

Scarlett let out a sigh. She stopped washing and went to sit at the table. I continued to dry plates and put them away.

"Dad…" my daughter started, and I turned to her. She was crying again. "Dad, I think we might need to put her in a home…"

"No!" I said, and smashed the dish I was drying. I instantly felt regret for it, and I could see it had managed to upset my daughter even more.

"Dad, she hardly remembers me anymore! She doesn't even know who Pammie is! She's confused and upset almost all the time. You moving back here isn't going to help that either." she said, fear and rage running through her now.

I went to her side, and had a seat at the table with her. "If I spent more time with her, if I spoke to her more about our life, it would be better."

"No Dad. You've tried that, it's not helping. You saw her tonight. And that's not even the half of it…" she started, but stopped. More tears welling in her eyes. "She's starting to get violent." my daughter practically whispered.

"Explain."

"She slapped me a few days ago. She's tried it several times, but it was the first time she actually got me. And then earlier today… she hit Pammie. I…" and with that, my daughter completely broke down. I took her hand in my cold one, and shed a tear with her.

"We could hire a nurse to come stay with her day and night I suppose. But I'm going to have to move out. I can't keep Pammie here. I love Mom, you know I do, but I don't want her hurting my daughter."

"You know she would never…" I started, but my daughter cut me off. She was one of three people on the earth who could get away with that.

"I know. But it doesn't change the fact that she did."

"I can take her to our home in Shreveport. She wouldn't want you to move from your home here in Bon Temps. Our family home."

We discussed this for a while longer. Details were decided upon, numbers were looked up, and Scarlett was going to call some places for us in the morning. My wife would be coming home to live with me. In the home we shared when we were first married.

Two nights later, I awoke to little hands twirling my long hair. "Good morning Farfar." my granddaughter said when she saw my eyes open.

"Good evening my angel." I said and kissed her cheek. "Is your Mormor here?" I asked. I liked hearing Pamela call her grandmother 'Mormor' just as much as I liked hearing her call me 'Farfar'.

"Yep. Mommy said to come get you." and she started to crawl out of bed, but I stopped her.

"Give Farfar a kiss first." I said, and pointed to my cheek. She obeyed, and I hugged her to me, then carried her out of my bed, and out to the living room.

"Hey Dad." my daughter said when we walked in. She reached out her hands to take Pamela, but Pamela and I were happy with our current situation. "Mom's in your office. I think everything is pretty much set up." she said, and put her hands on her hips. I noticed she looked tired. I reached out my hand, and she came to me. I embraced her.

She took me to the room that was once my office, but had now been converted into a bedroom for my wife. I would prefer to have her with me, sharing my bed once more, but it was not possible with the care that she required.

My furniture had been moved to the garage, and now the room contained my wife's bed from the home she was raised in, along with the rest of her furniture. I wanted her to feel comfortable. I had the office painted and decorated just as her room was back in Bon Temps.

My wife was asleep in her bed. I longed to join her. But the last time I was able to do that was months ago. She had forgotten who I was, and thus, having a stranger in her bed was upsetting.

I looked to our daughter. She was her mothers daughter. She shared her blonde hair and body structure. Sometimes it pained me to look at her. It made me long for the days when my wife was well.

My daughter sighed. I could sense the weight being lifted from her. I also felt guilt from her. I was familiar with her feeling of guilt. I had felt it every day for the last two years.

Scarlett went over more details with the nurse, and I took my granddaughter outside to my backyard. We laid on the grass and our blonde hair mingled. I pointed out constellations to her, and told her stories behind them. She listened intently, but I could tell she was troubled.

"What's the matter lilla ängel?" I asked her.

"Mormor is not at home anymore?" she asked me.

"Mormor is going to live with Farfar like she used to. This is her home too." I said, and turned my face to her.

"Is me and mommy going to live with you?" she asked.

"No. But you may come see us whenever you want to." I said, and took her tiny hand in mine.

"Farfar." she whispered to me after a moment. I smiled at her. "Can we go up?" she asked, and pointed her free hand towards the sky. I had levitated with her once, and it quickly became her favorite thing. Just like when her mother was a child. I kissed her hand, and picked her up off the ground.

"Hold on tight." I told her, and she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, and placed her cheek on mine. I raised off the ground about five feet, and we hovered around the backyard until her mother came to gather her.

She told me everything was settled with the nurse, and to call her should I need anything. I told her I would, and offered to have her stay the evening but she declined. I kissed my family goodnight, and returned to my former office. The nurse was there with my wife, who was now awake.

"Leave us." I said, and she gathered her bag. "You may stay in the living room if you wish. Take what you want from the kitchen." I said as she walked out the doorway.

"Hello." my wife said. She was in a good mood this evening. Our bond was still strong, but I had found that I had to cut it off from her about a year ago. The feelings were to intense and confusing for her once she started to decline mentally.

"Hello Sookie. May I come sit with you?" I asked. She smiled at me. She was just as beautiful as the day that I met her. She could still manage to set my heart on fire.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed so far. Let me know what you think of it, of the direction that I'm going.**

**And I just need to say that I have NEVER seen or read "The Notebook". I've heard what it's about, but not much. Any similarity (and I was told that there is some, slightly) is purely coincidental.**

**As I said, this was actually spawned from someone elses true life story.  
**


	2. Man That You Fear

**Evening everyone. Thanks for the lovely comments.**

**I know this is a bit dark. But I guess it's the kind of mood I've been in. Post Holiday blues and whatnot.**

**Anywho, Charlaine Harris owns the characters and whatnot. I'm just taking them out for a spin.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"Sure." she said, and I took the chair that normally sat at the foot of her bed, and brought it up next to her.

"Do you remember me?" I asked, preparing myself for the usual response these last few months. She no longer remembered me.

As usual, she stared at me intently, trying to figure out who I was. I could see the frustration building behind her eyes, and I intervened. "It's alright Sookie. I'm Eric. We are old friends." I said. I had found that telling her I was her husband disturbed her.

She eyed me again, and then accepted what I had told her. "It's nice to see you." she said, and smiled again.

"I came to talk to you Sookie. We've been reminiscing. I was telling you about my life. Would you like for me to continue?" I asked.

"We could do that. Sure." she said, and I could tell she was trying to remember what I could have possibly told her before.

"Well, I was telling you before about how I met my wife. How she was with someone else when we first met. But I won her over. She cared for me when I was ill, and we fell in love. Do you remember me telling you about that?"

"Not exactly." she said, and looked troubled.

"It's alright. I think we left off last time just after her and I were married."

"Did you date her for very long?" she asked, trying to catch herself up in the story.

"We were together for a time, but then we were apart for three years. When we met again, we could not deny that we were in love. We married soon after." I didn't want to trouble her with the details of our first pledge to each other, or our bonding. It would only confuse her. I found that out the first time I had tried to tell her of it.

"Did you love her while you were apart?"

"I loved her the moment that I met her. But it took me to long to realize it. To tell her. We wasted a lot of time because we were both stubborn."

"But you figured it out eventually right?"

"Yes. We did." I said, and adjusted in my seat. Sookie sat up in bed a little further, and was now completely upright against the headboard. She had a small smile on her face. I winked at her, and she blushed a little.

"Now, I believe we left off shortly after I had married. We were together about two years. She lived in Bon Temps, and I lived in Shreveport before we had married. When we did marry, she came to live with me. She left her job, and took a position at the local library. She loved to read and learn."

"Oh, I always wanted to work at a library. But working as a waitress isn't so bad." she said. She seemed to get sidetracked then. "Oh, I forgot if I had to work tonight…"

"It's alright Sookie, you don't. It's your night off."

She seemed to think about it for a moment, and then decided I was correct, and motioned for me to continue.

"As I was saying, she took a job at the local library. I encouraged her to go back to school, to college, but she said she had a hard enough time with school when she was young, and did not want to return if she did not have to. I could tell that she did want to, but it was very hard on her."

"Why?" she asked.

"She was different. But we don't need to go into detail on that." I said. Once Sookie's illness had progressed, she seemed to lose her ability. But it ran strong in our daughter. I had a feeling that it also ran in our granddaughter, but it had not been confirmed yet. "I stayed at my job, and I urged her to come work with me, but she loved her job at the library."

"What do you do?"

"I own a bar." I said. No reason to upset her with the details. We were having a good night. These were rare. I just had to hope that she would not ask for much detail.

"I have a good friend who owns a bar. Do you know him? Sam Merlotte? He's who I work for."

"Yes, I know Sam." I said. I was trying to place where she was in her mind. What time period. Was it before she met Compton? Before she met me?

"Why can't I read your mind?" she asked. She was pre-Compton this evening. The worst nights were when she remembered him, and called for him all night. I knew she could not control it, but it still stung my heart to hear her calling for that worthless piece of shit.

"Because I am a vampire." I said. Judging from her reaction, I got her post-revelation. Sometimes she was pre-revelation. I had a hard time being around her those nights. She could always tell something about me was off.

Her eyes widened a little, and she smiled at me again. "I'm sorry, continue your story."

"Yes. Well, we were married for two years, and she started to talk of having a family. Of course, I would not be able to give her children myself, but we searched our options. Since I was vampire, it was very hard to find any agency that would agree to adoption. It was also very difficult to find a doctor or clinic that would assist us in In Vitro Fertilization. It was practically unheard of at the time. It still is to an extent."

"I think it's sweet." she said.

"Thank you." I said, and smiled at her. "Eventually we found a doctor who was willing to assist us for the right price. Next, the search for the donor started."

"You wanted him to look like you?" she asked.

"Yes. We wanted our child to resemble both of us."

"I bet you were a hard match." she said, and giggled. I laughed a little as well. She was right.

"Yes, it took us nearly a year to find a human who resembled me in height, hair and eye color. We ended up finding him in my native land. We spared no expense in having his cooperation. It was not difficult however, as he was also a vampire supporter."

"I bet you were both pretty happy when you found him."

"Oh yes. We had him flown here to Louisiana, and he gave us a… generous donation… before he left. He was paid handsomely for his assistance. After that, my wife and I got to work on making a child, with the doctors assistance of course."

"Of course."

"We tried once, but it did not hold. It discouraged my wife greatly, and was a few months before she would try again. The second time however, we were successful."

"Oh that's lovely!" she said, and I felt my heart break a little. Telling her our story, not having her remember it, was always difficult.

"She was so beautiful when she was with child." I said, and thought back to that time. I took my eyes from my wife, and looked at the ground.

"Did it ever bother you that the child was not biologically yours?" she asked. My head shot back up. Sookie had asked me that once, when we were first discussing the possibility of having a donor. I told her that any child that we brought into our home, whether from her or from adoption, would be our child.

"No. I love the child as if they are my own. They are my own."

"I'm sorry if I was out of line with that question."

"No, it is natural to be curious. You never have to apologize to me." I said softly to her. "Back to my story. She was pregnant. It was glorious. She glowed. She had never been so beautiful to me. I showered her with gifts. I turned one of our spare rooms into a nursery for our child. We could not have been more excited."

"What did you have?" she asked.

"We had a son." I said, and smiled at the thought of his birth. "My wife had gone into labor during the day. We had arranged to have a cesarean at night, but he could not wait to meet us. Luckily for us, it was our first child, so labor was slow. By the time that I rose, she was still in labor, and it lasted most of the night. She finally gave birth only an hour before dawn."

"What did you name him?" she asked.

"We named him Eric. She wanted my name to pass down."

"That's sweet."

"We brought him home after a few days. I could not put him down while I was awake. I had been a father before I was turned. I loved my children very much, but times were different. I was away often, providing for my family. Things have changed in child rearing. I was grateful for that. I loved being a father. Our son had blonde hair like myself and his mother. And blue eyes. He was so small. I did not think it was possible for me to love someone as much as I loved his mother. But I was proven very wrong."

Our son had not been born with his mothers gift.

"When he was three years old, my wife and I discussed having another child. We still had some of the prior donation, and attempted again to have a child. This time, we were not as lucky. We tried for nearly two years before it finally worked for us. She had almost completely given up during that time. It was very challenging for us."

Sookie's eyes were welling up now. I was on a very thin line right now. When she got upset, it was hard to calm her down. It would be hard to get her to listen to me any more this evening. I continued carefully.

"Don't be upset Sookie. Like I said, it worked. My wife and I were pregnant again. Again, she was more beautiful than I could have imagined. If it was possible, she was even more beautiful the second time."

Sookie dried her eyes. I seemed to have avoided disaster for the time being.

"This time, we had a daughter. She was as eager as her brother to be born. But she did not wait for the night to come. I awoke to find my wife gone one evening. There was about twenty messages on my phone from her, along with a note by our bed explaining that she had gone to the hospital. I flew to her straight away. I almost forgot to dress myself." I said, and laughed at the memory. I was half way out the door when I realized I was naked. Modesty was never an issue for me, but I did not want to show up naked to my child's birth.

"You flew?" she asked.

"Yes, I can fly. Would you like to join me sometime?" I asked, and winked at her. She giggled again, and then urged me to continue. "I arrived at the hospital to find my wife and new child sleeping in bed. Our son, Eric, was in her room as well, asleep on a bed the nurses had brought for him. I took my new daughter in my arms. I could not believe how blessed I had been. I had been vampire for over a thousand years. I had done unspeakable things during that time. Yet there I was, holding my second child in this life. I had a beautiful and loving wife. I had never been happier."

"What did you name the little girl?" she asked.

"Scarlett." I said. I hoped that she would recognize this, as our daughter had been with her most of the day. But at the moment, it didn't seem to register with her.

"That's a beautiful name. Was it for the character in Gone With The Wind?" she asked.

"Yes. My wife had regarded her as a strong woman." Sookie smiled at this, and then yawned. "You are tired. I will let you rest. We can continue this another time." I said. I wanted nothing more than to finish, but I would not let her suffer and stay awake when she was ill and tired. She probably wouldn't remember the next time I saw her, and we would have to start over. It didn't matter. I would tell her a thousand times, and never tire.

"Thank you for visiting me Eric. It was nice to see you." she said. It was kind of her to say, even thought I knew she didn't know me. I rose from my seat, and leaned to kiss her, but she shied away, so I simply bowed to her, and left the room.

* * *

A week later I awoke to find a message from my daughter on my phone. Family dinner, tomorrow at eight. She would be here when I woke. She asked that I invite 'auntie Pam'.

"Master." my child Pam said as she answered the phone.

"Good evening Pam. I called to request your presence at my home tomorrow evening. The rest of the family will be here. I would very much like it if you attended."

"Of course." she said, but I could feel that she was uncomfortable.

"Good. I will see you then. Be here at seven." and with that, I ended our call.

I went to my wife's room, and excused the nurse like I had done the first night my wife was back in our home.

"Eric?" she asked as I entered. This was a welcome sound. She seemed to remember me tonight. At least to a point.

"Yes Sookie, it's me." I said, and went to her side.

"Are you here to tell me more about your life?" she asked. At least she seemed to remember who I was, even thought it was only that I was a friend.

I had tried to come back to her for a week, but she was either tired, or not in the mood for visitors. She had a rough week. I understood why our daughter was having a hard time. Things for my wife were getting worse. Moments like this were few and far between. I would take advantage of them while I could.

"Yes, would you like to hear more?" I asked. She nodded her head that she would. "Now, I believe we left off with Scarlett being born, correct?"

"Correct. But could you tell me about how you met your wife? I don't seem to remember." she said, and adjusted herself in bed so that she was more comfortable.

"Of course. Well, as I said before, she was dating someone when we first met. I was working at the bar that I own. He was an acquaintance of mine, the vampire that she was dating. He brought her in because her brother was in some trouble, and she was trying to clear his name. I tried to glamour her that first night. To get her to leave the vampire she was with, and come to me. I was very attracted to her."

"Did it work?" she asked.

"No. She could not be glamoured. There was something different about her. I wanted her. I had never desired a human like I desired her. I made it my mission to make her mine."

"And how did she feel about you?"

"She once told me that she thought I was very handsome when she first saw me. She said she cared for me very much before I was ill, but when I was ill, and I stayed with her, that was when we fell in love."

"How were you ill?" she asked, curiosity written all over her face.

"I had been cursed by a witch. I had amnesia. She found me running down the road to her home. I had no clue what was going on, who I was, where I was. She only saw a half naked man running down the road in the middle of the night, but still stopped, because she was a kind woman. I could have killed her then, and she knew it, but she took me in because she was my friend. I had to stay in hiding, because some people were after me. She kept me safe as best she could. She comforted me when I was scared. She laughed with me, she shared with me. And when the time came, she loved me. But when I was cured, I had no memory of our time together." I said, and lowered my head.

"But didn't she go to you and tell you what happened?" Sookie asked, and took my hand. I froze for a moment, not wanting the contact to break. She had not touched me of her own free will in some time. Eventually, she lowered her hand, and I continued.

"No. I had been quite ungentlemanly when I regained my memory. I had no idea what had happened while I was cursed. She would hardly speak of it. I felt things for her. Feelings I had not felt in over a thousand years. They were new to me as a vampire. I could not believe that a human woman would have this effect on me."

"You loved her?"

"Yes. I realize now that I loved her before I was cursed, but I didn't know it at the time."

"Did you tell her?"

"Yes. Now, after I regained my memory, I found it difficult to be around her. I wanted to be near her every waking moment that I had, but I didn't understand why. Then, one night, I remembered everything."

"And you were together after that?"

"Not exactly. I was just realizing what had happened. What I had felt. It was becoming clear to me. I was unsure how to process the information. We decided that we needed to have a serious talk about it. But that did not come for some time. Before I had regained my memory, we were forced to bond with each other. That means that we shared blood, and it created a bond between our minds and bodies. It was not something that either of us would have chosen at that moment, but it was necessary to save her life. Later, to keep her from being forced to work for the king of our state, I pledged with her. She said that I had tricked her, but it was for her own good."

"Sounds very high-handed to me." Sookie said, and I nearly lost control. I laughed harder than I had laughed in years.

"That is exactly what she said to me." I finally replied when I had gained my composure back. "But we never had our talk, and things between us became strained. We were together as a couple, but there was many unresolved issues. She eventually left me. She wanted to start fresh. She broke our bond, and our pledge. But in doing so, she put herself in danger, and was taken to Nevada to work for our king, and I could not stop it from happening."

"But you obviously got her back."

"Yes, but it was not that easy. We reconnected while she was away. After three months I was able to come and see her. There was a treason attempt that she was trying to stop. She had grown fond of the king, and wanted to help him. While I was with her, fighting broke out, and she was stabbed."

I paused. The look on Sookie's face told me that our conversation would be ending soon. She was terrified. And she remembered. She reached her hand to her side, and rubbed the spot where Clark had drove the knife into her.

"Sookie, are you alright?" I asked as calmly as I could. She was sobbing now. I reached for a handkerchief, and motioned to hand it to her, but she pushed my hand away. "Sookie, please. Say something." I pleaded to her. I could feel warm tears making their way down my face. I quickly wiped them away, for fear that it would startle her.

"I… are you… I don't understand…" she managed to get out. Her sobs were becoming heavier. She was shaking.

This is where part of my guilt came in. There was nothing that I could do for her. I used to try to stay with her through these moments. But it just made it worse. If I left, she would calm herself and relax. All I really wanted to do was stay at her side, and comfort her. But she rarely remembered me enough anymore to allow for that. And when she did, I would not always get the Sookie who remembered we had pledged, and I would be cast from her room.

"I'll leave. I'm sorry if I've upset you, my beloved." I said, and bowed to her before I left. She cried herself to sleep soon after.

* * *

**Thanks again for reading.**

**This has taken a different turn from what inspired it, but I know where I'm going.**

**I also saw some comments about how could she be ill like this. Don't worry, I'm actually currently working on the part where it's being discussed/explained... to a point. You'll understand when we get there.**

**Thanks again for the comments/reviews. I 3 comments/questions/concerns/constructive criticism!**

**Night! More tomorrow! You know how I do. :D  
**


	3. Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

**Evening everyone.**

**Here's a bit for tonight.**

**Have a good evening.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"Pam!" my granddaughter screamed as my vampire child, my granddaughters namesake, walked into my home. My granddaughter ran to her, and Pam lifted her and held her in her arms. It pleased me to no end to see Pam become part of my family. Our family.

"Hey auntie." my daughter greeted her as she came to see why her daughter was screaming. "Pammie, you need to be careful remember? Inside voice. Gran is sleeping."

"Sorry mommy." my granddaughter whispered. Pam kissed my angel on her cheeks, then sat her down.

"Farfar." Pam said to me and smiled. She took amusement watching my granddaughter call me that. She used the term on me when we were with our family. It was the only time I would allow her. But I knew she would not dare to outside of our home. "My Scarlett, how are you?" she asked my daughter.

They both headed to the kitchen to continue speaking, while I focused on my granddaughter. She came to me, and I sat her on my lap. We put her program back on the television. She was very taken with Sesame Street. I enjoyed watching with her, and watching her learn. I had done the same with my children. Sookie would record them in the morning, and we would watch them together in the evening with our children.

When dinner was ready, my daughter called us to my kitchen. There was food for her and my little angel, and a bottle of True Blood warmed for Pam and another for myself.

"Anything new from Ludwig?" Pam asked as we drank, and my daughter and granddaughter ate.

"Nothing good." I replied. I had chosen my words poorly out of frustration from Ludwig's visit earlier that day. I had woken as she was leaving my wife's room, and had a chance to speak with her. Now Pam and Scarlett were both frozen in place, waiting for me to elaborate. "Her condition is worsening. Ludwig is continuing to give Sookie my blood, but it's no longer slowing the illness."

"Have you tried Niall…" Pam started, but I slammed my fist down on the table, and she stopped. I managed to thoroughly startled my granddaughter, and I could feel that I had frightened her with my outburst. I rose from the table, kissed her and apologized, and went to the backyard. Pam joined me a moment later.

"I would prefer to be alone." I told her.

"I am sorry if I upset you Eric. I did not mean to imply that you were not doing everything that you could." she said, and turned to go back in the house.

"Niall will not answer me. He will not even answer for Claude. We don't even know if we are getting any messages through to him."

"I'm sorry." she replied.

"Ludwig told me that she believes Sookie's gift is what is causing this. Why my blood has not cured her. Why the fact that she is part Fae does not matter in this situation." I said, and rested my forehead in my hands. "If it were strictly Alzheimer's, she could be better. I could fix her… but I can do nothing. Whatever it is in her mind that give her her gift… seems to be preventing anything from being able to help her, and making it worse, and progress quickly. Regardless of how young she may still appear thanks to her Fae blood, there is still part of her that is human. Quite a large part. Susceptible to human illnesses."

Pam was silent for a few moments before she spoke. "May I see her?"

"Of course." I said, and Pam made her way back into the house.

After some time had passed, I made my way back into my home, and found my daughter cleaning dishes. I apologized to her for my outburst, and then comforted her when she cried over the news from Ludwig.

Pam emerged from my wife's room about an hour later. Red streaks stained her face. I could feel her pain, and I joined in with her. We shared a bond as maker and child, but for her sake, I kept it cut off most of the time. My emotions since my wife became ill had become difficult for her to deal with. She never said a word, but I knew. I spared her my pain.

Pam joined us in the living room, and had a seat next to my daughter on the couch. My little angel had fallen asleep in my arms while I reclined in my favorite chair. Scarlett handed Pam a tissue.

"How was she?" my daughter asked.

"She allowed me to spend time with her. She's still awake Eric. She asked about your story."

Pam had barely finished the sentence, and I was already half way down the hallway, headed to my wife's room.

"Hey Eric." she said as I entered. "Who's your friend?" she asked, and pointed to our granddaughter, still asleep in my arms.

"This is Pam. She is my granddaughter." I said.

"You hardly look old enough to be someone's father. Let alone a grandfather." she said and giggled.

"I'm over a thousand years old, remember? I could be her grandfather at least twenty times over." I said, and took a seat in the chair that was next to my wife's bed.

"So where did we leave off at?" she asked.

I decided to pick up after her and I had left Nevada. "We returned home, and that was when we separated for the three years that I told you about. I was doing it to keep her safe. Loving a vampire is not and easy task for a human. There are many obstacles. I tried to keep her from that life, but in the end, we could not stay apart."

"Did you go to her?"

"No. She came to me. We had not seen each other in three years. But within a few days, we found that we could no longer resist each other. She came to me to let it be known, and I vowed to never let her go again. We married shortly after."

"Tell me about her now. What is she like? Is she a vampire now too?"

"No, she is human. She is just the same as she was the day I met her. She has aged, but she is just as beautiful, if not more so, as the day that I first met her. She is kind, smart, funny, loving, beautiful, and a wonderful mother and grandmother."

"Where is she now? Can I meet her some time?"

"She is very ill, so I don't think that would be possible."

"Oh I'm so sorry." she said, and lowered her eyes.

"Don't be. It's natural. We both knew that one day she would... I am… accepting it."

"Didn't it ever bother you, or her, that she aged, and you didn't?" my wife asked, getting a little teary eyed. I produced a handkerchief for her.

"No. As I said before, she is just as beautiful as the day that I met her. Yes, she has aged, but her beauty is not why I love her. It's all the other things about her. The things that stay the same about someone, regardless of how old they are. That is why I fell in love with her, and why I still love her. She is still the same person, she just has more… experience now. The wisdom that she has gained over the years shows itself in the silver that streaks her hair, or the, what was it she called them… oh yes, laugh lines. The laugh lines that are present on her face."

"But don't people stare? Doesn't it bother you what someone else might think or say? Isn't it awkward?"

"I don't really care what anyone thinks about it. And neither does my wife. To us, it is trivial. That is the only opinion of it that matters."

"And she feels the same?"

"Yes." I said, and smiled at her. "How do you feel about it?"

"Why does it matter?" she asked, and raised an eyebrow to me.

"I'm curious." I said.

"Well, I suppose that I would be a bit self conscious of it. Not of what others think, mind you, but for myself." she replied, but still appeared to be thinking about her answer.

"That is how my wife felt at first. She was unsure of our relationship for a time because of this concern. But eventually, she told me that she let her heart guide her, and her heart told her that it wouldn't matter. So it became an obsolete concern for her eventually."

"She sounds smart, and brave for that. I'm not sure I could make that choice."

"Oh, I think you could." I replied, trying to hold back the laugh that was building in me. The low grumble in my chest stirred our granddaughter, but she did not wake.

My wife's eyes focused on our granddaughter. "She looks like you. Are her eyes blue as well?"

"Thank you. And yes, they are."

"If I didn't know better, I would swear that she was your child. Is she your son or daughters child?"

I felt a pain in my chest at her question. "She is my daughters child." I said, and glanced down at my sleeping angel.

"Does your son have children?" Another pain in my chest at her question.

"No, he does not." I said.

"Well, probably just hasn't found the right woman. If he looks anything like you, he's probably fighting them off left and right." she said, and smiled. "Can I meet them sometime? Your son and daughter?"

"I think that would be acceptable. My daughter is here, would you like to meet her?"

"Oh yes, very much." she said. I left her room to gather Scarlett. I told her about the conversation I had been having with her mother. Once she was prepared, we went back to Sookie's room.

"Sookie, this is my daughter, Scarlett." I said, and motioned for my daughter to take the seat I had occupied. "May I sit here?" I asked my wife, motioning to the side of her bed. She nodded that it was acceptable.

"Scarlett, it's very nice to meet you. Your father has been telling me all about your family." my wife said, and extended her hand to our daughters. Scarlett shook her mothers hand and smiled.

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you too." she said. I could see and feel her torment. I clutched my granddaughter closer.

"Wow, you look just like your father. And your daughter looks just like both of you. You have a beautiful family. Do you have a picture of your wife Eric?"

My daughter and I both glanced at each other. "I don't believe I have one on me, but next time, I will bring you one." I said.

"Can you bring your son next time? That's if he's not busy or something. I would very much like to meet him." Sookie asked. This was to much for our daughter, and before she started to cry, she excused herself, and took her child with her. Sookie noticed that there was something wrong. "I'm sorry. Did I say something…?"

"No, do not apologize. I… my son… he has passed."

Sookie clutched her chest, tears instantly spilling from her eyes. "Oh my, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Me and my big mouth."

"Please, you do not have to apologize. You did not know. I should have said something. I did not want to upset you as I have."

"But I still feel terrible. We don't have to talk about that anymore. I'm so sorry." she said.

"No, we can talk about it if you want. I do not mind telling his story. Would you like me to continue?" I asked. Sookie shook her head that she did. She dried her eyes on the handkerchief that I had given her earlier. "He was in high school. A senior. He had been accepted to a very good college. He was interested in a girl at school. He offered to walk her home one afternoon. A car struck them both as they crossed a road. The girl was severely injured, but she lived. My son was killed instantly. He did not suffer. He had tried to push the girl out of the way, which is why she lived."

"That's just terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. Was it hard on you and your wife?"

I felt a tear leave my eye. "Yes. It was difficult for us both. But I believe more-so on my wife. She blamed herself for some time. It took quite a while for me to make her see it was not her fault. Our son had always received excellent grades. For his sixteenth birthday, he received a car. The week before the accident, he had gotten into some trouble at school, and as punishment his car privilege was taken away. It was a mutual decision for his punishment, however it had been my wife's suggestion that we take his car for two weeks. She felt that if she had suggested something else, or had not been so harsh on him, that he would have still lived."

"But you don't feel that way, do you?"

"No. The decision for his punishment was mutual. It was neither my wife's fault or mine. The fault was with the driver who hit him."

"I think it says a lot for both of you, that you were able to get through that, together."

"Yes. It was difficult, but we love each other."

"You've been through a lot together it seems. You must really love each other." Sookie said, and lowered her eyes to her hands, still clutching the handkerchief.

"Yes. I love her more than I can say."

"I hope I find that some day." she said, and I faltered in my composure. I could feel another tear escape me.

"Sookie, I think I will let you rest for the evening. I have kept you to long, and I apologize. I will see you tomorrow." I said, and rose from my seat. I went to her side, and bent to kiss her cheek. Tonight, she did not shy away. My lips grazed her cheek, and I felt her warm skin against mine for the first time in a month. I quickly and quietly excused myself from her room, and spent the rest of my night alone in the bed we once shared.

* * *

**So, as you can see, I'm still in the dark place that's producing this story. Thank you for sticking it out with me even if it is depressing.**

**But also try to see the beauty in it. The life they shared together. The family they have. How much Eric does love Sookie. That's probably part of what is inspiring it. Eric's love for her. For all the haters out there who think that Eric's not in it for the long haul, then I say :P Not that any of them would read this, but it's the principle of the thing.  
**


	4. Putting Holes In Happiness

**Sorry this is so late tonight.**

**Charlaine Harris owns the characters.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"Have you heard from Sam?" I asked my daughter as we sat in my office at Fangtasia.

"I got an email yesterday. He misses us. Wishes he could be home. Said to say hello." she replied as she went through the books.

"And was he able to say where he was?"

"No. But nothing I can really do about that now is there." My daughter was frustrated. She missed her husband.

"Is the shifter watching Pam tonight?" I asked.

"Dad, seriously. He's my father-in-law. Couldn't you at least _try_ to call him by his name?" she asked as she slammed the book she had been going through shut.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Old habits." She tried to hide her smile as she opened the next book.

My daughter had married the son of Sam Merlotte. Had he been the first born of the shifter, I would not have allowed this union. However, being second born to the shifter, the trait was not passed down. Sookie and Sam had found it humorous that while a relationship between them had not worked, their children had found love.

Scarlett's husband, Sam Junior, was in the military. He was currently deployed. She missed him a great deal. I commended the boy for fighting for his country.

"Dad, I can't concentrate with you hovering. Why don't you go hang out with auntie Pam at the bar?" she asked, and waived her hand at me to leave.

"Fine, I will go 'hang out' with Pam." I said, and left my office. I found Pam working at the entrance to the bar, and motioned for her to come join me in my booth.

"Were you hovering over Scarlett again?" she asked as she took a seat.

"So she says."

"She's good at bookkeeping. You should leave her to work."

"I know she is good. She is the best. I enjoy spending time with her. I did not intend to hover." I said as I relaxed. "You haven't been by the house in a while."

"No, I have not." she replied, glancing out at the crowd that was in the bar this evening.

"I could order you to come." I said. Her eyes met mine.

"You wouldn't be that cruel."

"You should come visit." I said, and turned my eyes to the crowd.

"I find that it's become to difficult. I have said my peace with her."

"Don't give up on her yet. She is your friend, you care for her…" I said, but Pam cut me off.

"I love her. I have said what I needed to say to her." she said, eyes focused on mine. I nodded my head. I would not force her.

We sat there for some time, undisturbed. Eventually my daughter emerged from my office, and joined us in the booth. She sat next to me, and I put my arm around her, letting her relax against me.

"Hey there. Looking for something a little fresher?" I heard, and saw a young female standing at the end of the booth. She was staring at me. Before myself or my daughter had a chance to react, Pam was out of her seat, and had the girl on the floor. Pam was holding her down with the heel of her pump, placing it at her throat.

"Disrespectful bitch. Apologize to my Master and his daughter." Pam said. The girl was practically in tears.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry." she whimpered.

"Get the fuck out of here." Pam said as she released her, and then joined us back in the booth. The girl left.

"Way to go, auntie Pam." Scarlett said. Pam smiled at her, and I laughed.

* * *

"So tell me about your first kiss with your wife." Sookie asked. "Or is that to personal? I'm sorry, I don't know what's got into me."

"Don't apologize. It's what we have been talking about. Well, I will actually tell you about the first kiss that mattered for us. There had been some before, but she was with another. The first kiss we had, where I did not have a devious plan behind it… that was when we were in Mississippi."

"You were kissing her when she was dating someone else?"

"Yes. But like I said, the first kiss that really mattered for me, where I could feel that there truly was something different about my feelings with her, was when we were in Mississippi. Her boyfriend had been kidnapped. He was vampire. She went to find him, and I joined her shortly after. We had been at a club. We were both investigating his disappearance. There was an attack. She was staked. I took her with the king of Mississippi to his home where she could be healed. She had passed out from the pain. It was then that I realized that there was something… different, about the way I felt about her. While she slept in my arms, I thought about what would have happened if we had not been able to save her. I realized that I would mourn her. I would miss her. I realized then I wanted her. I didn't want her because of her gift, and I didn't want her because I purely wanted to have sex with her. I found that I wanted her because she was the most amazing woman I had ever met. She was special to me. She had awoken feelings in me that I had not had in over a thousand years. Feelings I had never had."

"You fell in love with her?" she asked.

"I didn't know it at the time, but yes. That was the night I fell in love with her. She had woken up. I could sense her waking, so naturally I had to act like nothing was different with me. I was confused. I didn't want her to know the affect that she had on me, when I had no idea what was happening to me. So I played it 'smooth' with her, as she put it. But all I could think about was kissing her, devouring her, holding on to her, making her mine. I could have lost her that night. I wanted to kiss her and thank the Gods that she was alive. We bantered for a moment, and then I could not hold back any longer. I kissed her."

"That's sweet. Did you tell her that's how you felt?"

"No. And I didn't tell her that was what I had felt that night for quite a few years. I didn't realize what I was feeling for quite some time after that. It was new for me. But that night, I kissed her. And she kissed me back."

Sookie sat and thought about what I had said. Tears started to form in her eyes. I got a handkerchief ready. When they started to spill, I handed it to her.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"It's so sweet. But it's so sad." she said as she dabbed her eyes. "With everything you've told me, there seems like so much time wasted…"

"Perhaps. But when it was right, we were together."

"Do you ever think about dying, you know, for good, once she is gone?"

"No."

"But you could live a lot longer. Watch your family pass. The people that you love. I don't know that I would want to live on forever like that and see everyone I love die."

"I did it before with the family I had when I was human. Besides, it's not what she would want."

"What do you mean?"

"My wife would not want me to die. If I died first, I would not expect her to, nor would I ask that she end her life once I was gone. Would you ask that of your husband?"

She seemed to think about it for a moment before she responded. "No, you're right. If I was married, if I was in love like the both of you are, I wouldn't ask that of them."

But she was married. To me. A stranger for all she knew. She pretended to know me each time we would speak, but I could tell, she had no idea who I was to her. I told her I was a friend, but to her, I was just some man who told her stories. I felt a rage start to build. I did my best to suppress it. I focused all my energy in staying calm. And I lost focus on keeping our bond sealed. It broke open like a floodgate. I had not realized it had until Sookie gasped.

She sat upright. Her entire body tensed. She looked at me and began to shake. She stopped breathing. I closed the bond when I realized what had happened, and she took a breath.

"Eric…" she said, and then vomited. I grabbed a dish that was near her bed, and went to her side, but she rejected me. She started to kick and push and punch at me. It didn't hurt physically, but my heart was breaking. "What was that? I felt… you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, and tried to help her still. She had stopped fighting once she had realized that it was doing nothing to me.

"I felt your anger. Your hate. It was you." she said through her teeth. "Get out. Get out of my room. Get out of my house."

"Sookie, please." I pleaded with her.

"I don't know you. I don't know anyone named Eric. Who are you? Why do you keep coming to see me?"

"I told you Sookie, we are old friends. You know who I am."

"I don't. Please, just leave." she said, tears coming back to her. I reached out to her, but she hit my hand away.

"Sookie… please. If you only knew. Stop this."

"I don't care. I don't know you. You stop this!" she practically screamed at me.

My rage returned. I took her by her shoulders. I put my face only an inch from hers. She froze. "You are my wife Sookie. You. You have to remember, Sookie. You must. You must…" I said. I turned my face away. She started to cry even harder. Her body was convulsing. I released her from my grip, realizing what I had done. I left her room.

"Dad, what's wrong?" my daughter asked as I emerged from my wife's room. I responded by putting my fist through the wall. My daughter jumped, and then went into my wife's room.

I roared. I put another fist through the wall. I went to my bedroom, and destroyed it.

* * *

"Farfar?" my granddaughter asked as she entered my room. She took in the sight of the broken furniture and the holes in the walls. I was sitting against the far wall. She ran to me, and I hugged her to me. "Farfar, are you sad?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why?" she asked in practically a whisper.

"I miss Mormor." I told her. Pam looked at my face. She touched my cheek. Her finger was stained red.

"But Mormor is here." she said, slightly puzzled.

"Yes. But she doesn't know me." I said. She seemed to remember the conversation we had with her once about her Mormor, and how she was ill. She kissed my blood stained cheek. "Thank you. That makes Farfar feel better." I told her.

She smiled at herself for curing me. I kissed her on her cheek, and sent her to the room that I kept for her at my home. It was past her bed time.

My daughter came in a few minutes later. She took in the room.

"Nice Dad. Real nice." she said, and came to sit next to me.

"I didn't mean to scare her." I said, and she took my hand.

"I know you didn't."

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"She's fine. She was just confused. She's asleep now."

Scarlett sat with me for a while. Neither of us speaking. She held my hand. I had a hundred thoughts running through my head. I settled on one, and turned to my daughter.

"She wouldn't want to live like this." I said. My daughter understood what I was suggesting.

"No, she wouldn't. But I also know you won't do it. No matter how much you think she would want it. You won't give up on her that easily. She wouldn't want you to either."

I shook my head that she was correct. And I cried.


	5. If I Was Your Vampire

**Hey everyone. Getting close to the end. There will be one more chapter after this one.**

**Thanks again for the comments.**

**You might want to get the tissues out for this one.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"So what did you do today Sookie?" I asked.

It was family dinner night, and Scarlett, my granddaughter Pamela, and the shifter had come over. Sookie joined us at the dinner table this evening, along with her nurse Annie, so that Sookie would feel more comfortable. It didn't seem to matter though. She was silent.

"Sookie, why don't you tell them what we did today." Annie said. Sookie glared at her, but remained silent.

A few times during dinner she would stare at the shifter. She was trying to figure out where she knew him from. She might have figured it out had the shifter not been so aged. He was completely gray now. His face full of wrinkles and his eyes now a pale blue/gray. He had gained some weight as well. He was not the shifter that she would have remembered from her twenties.

He kept his eyes on his plate, or on the other dinner guests. If she recognized him, it would be disturbing for her. None of us spoke much, for fear of upsetting her. It was preferable to enjoy a quiet dinner as a family, than one where she was absent, or had an outburst and upset our granddaughter.

After dinner, my daughter and the shifter went to the kitchen to clean up. My granddaughter went to the living room to watch one of her programs. I stayed at the table with Sookie.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" I asked.

She thought about it for a moment, and to my surprise, she nodded that she would. I stood and went to her side, and offered her my arm. She took it, and I said goodbye to my family as we walked out the front door. Her nurse joined us, but stayed a respectful distance behind us.

We strolled slowly through our neighborhood. We had made it to the end of my street, and were crossing to walk back down on the other side.

"Are you cold?" I asked my wife. She had shivered.

"No, I'm fine."

"It's a beautiful night. You can see the stars quite clearly. It reminds me of the first date that I had with my wife."

Sookie looked up to me, and her expression showed some interest. I continued.

"It wasn't until after we married; our first date. We had been to events and such together before we were married, but nothing where it was what you would refer to as a date."

Sookie laughed a bit.

"I planned our date on my own. I surprised her with it. It was a date I had imagined for us. I told her about it after we had been married. She insisted that married couples still went on dates. I asked that she wear the dress that she was wearing the night that we first met. I loved her in that dress…" I said, and looked down at my wife. She would still look just as beautiful in it, if not more.

"Continue." she said when she noticed I was staring at her. I smiled at her, and did as she said.

"I spent the day away from our home, and I came to pick her up just after dusk. As asked, she wore the dress that I loved, and I drove us to a secluded field not far from here. I had a picnic laid out for her, with foods that I knew she enjoyed. We sat there under the moon light and I fed her. And when she was done eating, she fed me." I said, and looked down at my wife. She looked up at me, her cheeks a bit red, and a small smirk on her face.

I wagged my eyebrows at her and smiled back. "After that, I took her flying. She had flown with me before, but never under a pleasurable circumstance." My wife looked up at me questioningly. "Yes, I can fly. See?" I said, and looked down. Her eyes followed, and let go of my arm as I slowly rose from the ground, and hovered in place. Her eyes shot back up at mine in amazement. "Would you like to join me?" I asked.

She shook her head yes. I lowered back down, and she stepped up to me. I had her place her feet on mine, and put an arm around her back, and held her to me gently so that I didn't make her uncomfortable.

I slowly rose a few feet off the ground. She was looking at me in my eyes the entire time. I kept eye contact with her. She broke first, and looked down to see how far off the ground we had gone. It was still only a few feet. She looked back to me, and with her thumb, motioned for us to go higher. Always daring, my Sookie.

I rose further, and she clung to me when she saw that we were now thirty or so feet off the ground. I held her tighter. I moved us forward, in the direction we had been walking. Before long, we had passed our home, and continued down the street.

"Are you cold?" I asked again. I was going slow, trying not to create a strong breeze and chill her. She shook her head no. "Want to go higher?" I asked. She shook her head that she did. "Can I position you different so that you are more secure?" I asked. She nodded that I could.

I turned her around in my arms, and lifted her off my feet. I now had both arms securely around her waist, with her back to my chest. I took us up to about fifty feet, and asked if she wanted to go higher. She did, so I rose to about seventy five.

I could feel and hear her heart racing, but she was not scared. She was excited. I started to float through the air a little faster. She laughed a bit. Before long, I found us over the field where we had had our first date. I lowered us to the ground, and when we landed, I set her down.

"This was where the date was." I told her. She looked around, taking in the location, and then a different expression took over her face. She seemed to be on the verge of remembering. I wanted to encourage her, but we were far from home, and alone. If she got upset or confused, it would be hard to get her home on my own without restraining her and traumatizing her more.

But the moment past. She lowered herself to the ground, and then laid on her back, staring up at the stars. I sat next to her, and then laid back as well. We laid there for a while, and then she finally spoke.

"I've never been on a date." she said. "Well, none that ended as well as yours."

"Oh really?" I asked, and looked over at her.

"I'm telepathic. Dating a regular guy, it usually doesn't turn out to well, if we even make it to a first date. It never goes further than that."

"That must be difficult."

"Just a little lonely."

"I'm sure you'll find someone." I said, and smiled to myself.

"I met a vampire." she said, and turned her head to mine. "I can't hear his thoughts. And the man I work for, I can hear his, but not as strongly as most other guys."

"I think you belong with a vampire."

"I think I like the one that I met. He's taking me to a club tomorrow night. It's called Fangtasia." she said. I had to stifle a laugh.

"I hear the own of that bar is very attractive. Perhaps you will like him more than this vampire you met." I said, smirking to myself.

"I dunno, I kinda like Bill a lot. I'm just… I dunno." she said, and let out a sigh.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm scared I guess. I mean, I guess we're dating. We really haven't discussed that yet. But I've never had like, a real boyfriend. I don't even know if that's the right term to use with him. It sounds weird." she said, and laughed to herself.

"I think you deserve better than him." I said, trying to hold back my frustration. She was missing her memory of me by one night.

"He's not so bad really…"

"Don't trust him. He will only hurt you."

"Do you know him?" she asked.

"Yes. And as I said, you shouldn't trust him." I turned to my side to face her now. "He is not worthy of your love, Sookie." I said, and reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. She allowed me to, and I let my fingers graze her skin. She closed her eyes at my touch and smiled.

I left the conversation about Bill at that. She didn't question me further on it either. We laid there silently for a while before she spoke again.

"I think I'm ready to go back now." she said, and began to get up. She didn't get around as well as she used to, so I helped her back to her feet. I turned her back to me, and gripped her around her waist like I had done before.

I flew us slowly back to our home. I held her tight to me, and she had to ask me to loosen my hold on her because it was to tight. When we arrived home, I gently lowered us to the ground. I opened the door for her, and led her in. The shifter had left, and so had Scarlett and Pamela. Annie was still here, but she was out of sight.

I walked Sookie to her bedroom door, and before she went in, she turned to face me.

"Thanks." she said, and blushed, lowering her eyes to the ground.

"It was my pleasure. We could go again sometime if you like. You need only ask."

"Won't your wife mind?" she asked.

"She's gone now." I said, and lowered my gaze.

"I'm sorry." she said, and looked at me.

"Don't be."

Then she lifted herself on the tip of her toes, and kissed my cheek. I froze. I instantly began to take in every sensation that was happening. The beat of her heart, the feel of her lips on my skin, the sound of her breathing, the sigh she let out. I took her hand in mine as she lowered herself back down. I leaned down to her, and kissed her lips. She didn't stop me. I lingered for a moment there, my lips against hers. I brought up my other hand, and placed it on her cheek before letting her go. She slipped into her room, and smiled at me before she shut her door.

I went back to my room, and laid on my bed. I had a grin on my face that would not leave.

* * *

"She let me kiss her. I think she believed we were on a date." I said, still sporting my grin from the night before.

"Eric, you should be careful…" Pam started, but I cut her off.

"I know." I said. Pam was killing my good mood. They were rare.

"It's not just her I have a hard time being around." Pam said after a few minutes of silence.

"Are you looking for permission to leave?" I asked.

"Perhaps."

"Where would you go?" I asked.

"Paris." she said.

"Can't even stand to be on the same continent?" I asked with a smirk. Pam was not finding any of this humorous. I could see the torment on her face.

"I don't want these feelings anymore Eric. I need to get away from this. This is not my life." she said, with a hint of anger.

"It is your life Pam. You love this life. You would leave Scarlett and Pamela? They will need you when…" I could not bring myself to finish the statement.

"It was not the life I chose."

"I didn't force it upon you." I said. Pam did not respond. I watched her sitting on the couch in my office at Fangtasia. She would not look back at me. I would not deny her request. "When are you leaving?" I asked.

"I will make sure Fangtasia has someone trustworthy to fill my position before I go. But I would like to leave as soon as I can."

"At least say goodbye to the family before you do." I said. My cell phone rang.

"Speak." I said.

"Eric, it's Sam. Listen, Sook had a bit of an outburst. I think Scarlett's gonna need stitches. Can you call Ludwig to the house?"

"I'm on my way." I said, and shut my phone. I rose from my desk, and as I left, I told Pam to call Ludwig and send her to my home.

* * *

"What happened?" I asked the shifter when I arrived.

"Pammie was playing with Sook. She called her 'grandmother'. It freaked Sook out. Scarlett came in to get Pammie, and Sook threw a dish at her. Knocked her in the head pretty good. Split her skin open…"

"Where is Scarlett?" I asked, already walking away from the shifter.

"Your bathroom." he said and I left the room.

* * *

"Scarlett. Let me see." I said as I entered the bathroom. She was standing at the sink with a washrag to her forehead.

"I'm fine Dad." she said, dabbing at the cut. I went to her and inspected it. I placed my finger at my fang, and drew my blood. I placed it on her cut, and rubbed it around. It started to heal. She lowered the rag when the bleeding stopped, and I hugged her to me.

"I'm sorry." I said. She let out a sigh.

"I don't think it's safe for Pammie to be around her anymore." she said, and started to cry. I held her to me tighter, and rubbed her back, trying to soothe my child.

* * *

"I'm putting her on an anti-anxiety medication." Ludwig said when she left my wife's room.

"Will that stop her… will she not be as…" I started to say, but the words that I would use to describe the situation with my wife would not leave my mouth. They were the last words I would ever use to describe her. They were not her.

"Most likely, yes. But there are side effects, and I don't think they can be avoided." she said, and started to walk to the front door. I followed her. "She's going to be drowsy. Probably get depressed. It will also most likely affect her memory. I'll send the bill." she said as she walked out the front door.

As soon as she was gone I pulled out my cell phone, and dialed a familiar number.

"Claude." I said when the fairy answered his phone. I told him about Sookie's current state, and Ludwig's visit.

"I can try Niall again. I can't promise anything." he said, and then we were both silent for a moment before he spoke again. "I'm sorry, Eric. I really am." And with that, he ended our call.

* * *

It was a month before I heard from him again.

"Speak." I said when I answered my phone.

"I think I might be able to help her." Claude said.

"How soon until you get here?" I asked.

"I can be there at sundown tomorrow."

"Good." I said.

"Northman. There's no guarantee. I'm just saying I have something I can try."

"Understood." I said, and hung up the phone.

The next evening, I awoke to the smell of fairy. I inhaled deep. I pushed the thought out of my head. I had a choice between fairy blood and my wife.

I chose my wife.

"Claude." I said as I entered my living room. He had let himself in. He nodded at me, and then took a step back. I laughed, and then turned and headed to my wife's room.

When I walked in, the nurse was sitting by her bed. They were playing cards. "Out." I told her, and she set her cards down, and quickly left the room. Claude came in just after she left. "Sookie, this is Claude. He is a… doctor. He's here to help you." I turned to Claude. He was still keeping his distance.

"Hello Sookie." he said. "Eric, could you give us a few minutes?" he said. I stood motionless for a moment, and then left the room.

I dismissed the nurse for the evening, and then paced in the living room. An eternity seemed to pass before Claude emerged. I went to him immediately. Again, he backed away.

"It's most likely temporary…" he said, and that was all I heard. I was in my wife's room before he got a chance to finish.

"Beloved?" I asked. I do not think I had ever been this nervous.

"älskade." she said, and smiled the most beautiful smile at me.

Before she could blink, I was at her side, and joining her in her bed. I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes. Our foreheads touched. She blushed. I heard her heart rate increase. She raised her hands and placed them on mine. Our lips touched. I felt a tear escape me.


	6. Leave A Scar

**So I have had a HELL of a time writing this last part. Only thing is, it isn't the end like I thought.**

**But I wanted to post so that you all knew I didn't forget about you.**

**Ending should be posted by Friday. I hate delaying it, but again, having such a hard time writing it. Getting where I like it.**

**Snoogans.  
**

* * *

"So how long have you been putting up with me?" she asked.

"Oh, I think about forty-five years now." I replied, and smiled at her. She smiled back and smacked my chest. My smile left me, and I gave her the answer she was looking for. "I have not been putting up with you. I have been taking care of you, my beloved. My wife."

"How long Eric?" she asked, tears starting to well up in here eyes.

"Nearly three years." I said. She gave a deep sigh. A few tears spilled from her eyes. I touched my fingers to them to wipe them away.

"Eric… I… why? I don't want to be a burden on you."

"You will never be a burden to me. I love you. You are my wife, my soul." I said, and kissed her. It was a long slow kiss. If she didn't have to breathe, it would have never ended. She started to speak again, but I put my finger to her lips to stop her. "Later." I said, and kissed her again.

"But Claude said this might be temporary… what if we don't have a later." she said.

"Later, my Beloved." I said. "Right now, I just want to be here, with you, like this." and I pulled her to me. She was on her side, cuddled into my chest. I put an arm around her, and a leg over her. We kissed for a while. I didn't need more from her. I didn't expect more from her. Those days had passed. I was content just to hold her.

"Eric, I don't feel you." she said after our kissing had taken a break so that she could breathe.

"I'm sorry. Here." I said, and I opened our bond. I had not had her blood in some time, but we had cemented a strong bond over the last forty-five years. Love flowed freely between us. It brought tears to both of our eyes.

We laid in each others arms for another two hours. Kissing, touching, smelling. Taking in everything about each other. We finally broke our embrace when her human needs took over. She sat up in bed, and took in her surroundings.

"Where are we?" she asked. It was all over furniture in the room. The walls were painted to look like her bedroom from her grandmothers home. But now, she could tell that was not where she was.

"We're at the Shreveport home." I told her as I helped her out of bed and to the bathroom.

When she was done, she stopped to take a look at herself in the mirror. "Oh Eric, I'm old." she said, and frowned. She put her hands on her face, and tried to smooth out some of her wrinkles. Then, she noticed the gray in her hair, and examined it. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I placed a kiss on her neck. "I could be your grandmother." she said, examining us in the mirror.

"I could be your grandfather twenty times over Lover." I said, and smiled at her. "Speaking of, shall I call them over now?"

"Please." she said, and I hugged her to me again before I left to gather my phone and make the necessary calls.

* * *

It was three in the morning, but our home was filled with family. Laughing, crying, hugging, kissing, and enjoying one another. Our daughter and granddaughter had driven over. The shifter had come as well. Pam was on her way.

Sookie had taken personal time with each as they arrived. She took them to her room, and had a private conversation with each. First with our daughter, then with the shifter, and then with our granddaughter. As Sookie and our granddaughter emerged from Sookie's room, Pam came through the front door. She went to Sookie immediately. She hugged her, lifting my wife's feet off the ground.

"Pam." Sookie laughed. They had grown very close over the years. They had been friends before Sookie and I married, but spending forty-five years together, they had become close friends. It pleased me to know that Pam was not alone with just me as a companion. I suspected that was why she had taken Sookie being ill so hard. She had loved Sookie. Pam had never grown close to a human like she had done with Sookie. She had only ever been this close with me. Now, she was facing a hard reality that I had learned already in my thousand year existence. She had not coped with this yet. She was finding it more difficult that I had thought.

"Sookie. I…" she started, but my wife cut her off.

"Come with me, I want to talk to you." Sookie said, and led Pam into her bedroom.

Thirty minutes later, they emerged. Pam's face was stained red. She headed to the front door, and my wife followed her. They were both silent until they reached it. All eyes were watching them, including me. They hugged, and another tear spilled from Pam's eyes. Pam kissed my wife's cheeks, and they told each other that they loved the other. And then Pam was gone.

"I should head out myself." the shifter said, and raised from his seat. My wife hugged him, and showed him to the door. It was now just my wife, daughter, and granddaughter. Pamela was falling back asleep in her mothers arms.

"Come on, lets get some sleep." my wife said. I picked up our granddaughter, and my daughter followed us to the bedroom my wife had been staying in. I placed Pamela in the middle of the bed, and Scarlett scooted in next to her, followed by Sookie. I got in next to Pamela. Sookie was on her side facing me, and I was on my side facing her. Our family between us soon fell asleep, but Sookie and I stayed awake and watched over them.

* * *

"It's getting close to dawn." I whispered to my wife. She nodded her head, and then carefully slid out of bed so not to disturb Scarlett and Pamela. I followed suit, and she led us to my bedroom. Our bedroom. I discarded my clothing, except for my boxers. She was still in her nightgown. We got into our respective sides of the bed, and gravitated to each other, meeting in the middle. I laid on my back and extended my arm to her. She made her way to my side, and rested her head on my chest. I held her to me.

"I love you." she said to me when she was settled.

"I love you." I said in return, and kissed her forehead.

"If this doesn't last, I want you to put me in a home." she said.

"Never." I replied.

She said up on her elbow to look at my face. "Yes. I'm telling you, I want to be put in a home. It would be easier on all of you."

"No, I will not." I said, staring back at her.

"Then kill me, or find a Kevorkian to do it. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to burden you, or Scarlett. You can say I'm not, but I know I am." she said, and tears started trail down her face.

I sat up a little, and took her face in my hands. "You are not a burden Sookie, do you hear me? I can not believe what I am hearing you say right now. You have never been one to give up. Why are you doing it now? Why are you saying these things?"

"Why are you doing this? Eric, tell me that. Why are you putting our family through this?" she said, anger and sadness filling her voice, and our bond. I took her back into my arms.

"Shhh Sookie. Don't. Not tonight." I tell her as I smooth my hand across her hair, holding her to my body.

"I don't want to Eric, but we have to talk about this." she says, and sits up on her elbow to look into my face. "I'm telling you what I want. It's what's best. I'm just being honest. Open. Remember how we said we would be? I'm keeping my side of the deal."

"I'm listening, but I don't agree. I've said my peace. I won't give up on you. If Claude could do this… even if it doesn't last… I wont give up."

"I'm not asking you to give up. I'm asking you to give our family, and yourself, some sanity while you try to figure something out."

"You are telling me to kill you. You are giving up." I tell her, not able to look her in the eyes now.

"I'm saying that I don't want to live like this. It's no life." she says, and puts her head back down at my chest. "I just can't live like this…" and she begins to cry again. I cry with her… and then dawn took me.


	7. Running To The Edge Of The World

**Final chapter to "And I'll Love You"**

**It's broken up by night, starting with the second night since Sookie is healed by Claude.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies.  
**

* * *

**Night 2**

My brain starts to stir before my body does. But I feel her with me in bed. My consciousness is greeted with a kiss. Through our bond she can feel that I'm waking up. Relief flows from me, because she is kissing me, and it means she still remembers me. I struggle to open my eyes as quickly as I can. I don't want to miss a moment with her if I can help it.

"Good evening, husband." I hear her whisper in my ear. My body is still dead, but my mind is racing. Her hands are all over me. I can feel her body shift to lay on mine. Any moment now my eyes will be open. She moves her body suggestively over mine.

My eyes open. I devour her.

For the first time in over two years, I am in bed with my wife, and we are naked.

"That's no way for a grandmother to act." I tease her.

"Speak for yourself gramps." Sookie tells me in a fit of laughter.

"How do you feel?" I ask her in a more serious tone. I stare into her eyes, questioning the light behind them.

"I feel fine I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yeah. I mean, I feel like myself." Sookie says, and shrugs her shoulders. Worry flows from her. I decide to lighten the mood. We had ended on much to serious a note for my taste the night before.

"Yes, you _do_ feel like yourself." I say. I touch her body, and it sends a shiver through her. But this puts Sookie in an even more worried mood.

"Eric… I just don't know that I can again. I'm no spring chicken anymore…"

I put my fingers at her lips, and Sookie smiles shyly, and lowers her gaze from mine. I take my fingers from her lips and lift her chin so she is looking back in my eyes.

"I told you last night, I'm not expecting anything from you. The fact that you are here as you are now, is more than I could have hoped for. I don't need anything else."

Sookie smiles at me, and then a more serious look takes over. "Look, while I'm still me, I think there are some things that we really need to talk about."

"Not tonight Lover…" I start to say, but she cuts me off.

"If not now, then when? What if this doesn't last? There are some things that I would like to say you know. Everyone who's important let me speak my mind Eric, except for you. I don't want to go back to how things were without getting a few things off my chest." Sookie says. She is visibly frustrated with me.

I know she's right. I kiss her on her lips, and pull her into my arms. "As long as it's not about you living away from your home, away from me, then I'm open to hear anything you have to say." I tell her. She lets out a heavy sigh. I feel her frustration. It's mingled with my own.

"Yeah, well, we'll get to that…"

I cut her off. "I will not discuss it."

"Mr. High-Handed rides again!" she says, and gets out of bed.

"Sookie, get back in bed with me." I tell her.

"No. If you can't at least listen to me about this, then there's no point." she says as she puts on her robe.

"Sookie, I don't want to fight with you. Please, come back to bed." I say, and pat the bed where she had been.

"Are you going to talk about what we need to at least talk about?" she asks.

"No."

"Fine. When you are ready to discuss it, I'll be in the living room." And with that, she is gone from our bedroom. I lay back in bed. She won't be long. She will realize that the most important thing is that we spend the time that we do have, together.

An hour passes and I'm still alone in our room. I give in, and put on my boxers, and go in search of my wife. She is asleep on the couch. I pick her up, and carry her back to our bed. I lay her down gently, trying not to disturb her. If I can get her into bed without waking her, I get my way, and we spend the night in bed together, and we don't talk about her future. Our future.

"Nice try." she says as I slip into bed with her. Fucking blood bond. She starts laughing at the feel of my defeat. I join her.

When our laughing subsides, she is back in my arms. "Go ahead. Say it." I tell her.

She takes a deep breath before she speaks. "Scarlett told me everything. She told me about the past two years."

"When?"

"Today. She didn't spill the beans very easily, mind you. I practically had to drag it out of her. I swear, she's as stubborn as you sometimes. Anyway, it helped me decide. I want to go to a home. If I get sick again. If this doesn't last, Eric, this is what I want."

"But I can take care of you." I say.

"Honey, I know you can. I don't doubt that. But I don't want you to. Not like this."

"If the roles were reversed. If it was me who was ill, would you put me in a home?" I ask her.

Sookie looks away from me before she answers. "No."

"And why wouldn't you? If it was what I asked of you." I question.

"Because I love you. Because of all the reasons you said last night."

"Then I don't see how you expect me to do any different."

"Then what about my other suggestion?" she asks. I know what one she's referring too.

"Out of the question." I tell her, looking away this time.

"But I'm asking you to put me out of my misery. If I get sick again… this is no life for me Eric. None. I'm gone. All I'm doing is putting you and Scarlett and Pammie through misery. I don't want that. I don't want to do that to any of you. I'm asking you. I'm begging you. Just put me out of my misery, or put me in a home so I quit putting the three of you through hell."

I turn on my side to face her. I take her face in my hands. "You can not ask me to do that. I won't. You are not a burden. I am not going through hell. Each day that you are in my life is a gift. I will not throw it away."

"Eric…" she starts, but a tear escapes her.

"I won't give up Sookie. I won't."

* * *

**Night 7**

I wake. Sookie is in bed next to me, and asleep. I turn on my side and put an arm around her. I thank Claude a thousand times.

* * *

**Night 20**

"Pammie wore me out today." Sookie says. She senses the smallest little irk I feel at the sound of our granddaughter Pamela being referred to as 'Pammie'. "What was that for?" she asks.

"Her name is Pamela. Or Pam."

Sookie laughs and kisses my cheek. "Eric, she's three years old. Pamela and Pam are fine for when she's older, but right now, I like calling her Pammie. It's a little girls name. Everyone else thinks so too ya know. Including _your_ Pam." she says, and pokes her finger in my chest to accentuate her last sentence.

"Yes, I know. And she's been ordered to refer to her as Pamela or Pam." I say, and poke my wife back to accentuate my sentence. We both smile at each other.

"Say it… just once." she asks.

"No."

"Come on… say it." she says, teasing me.

"I will not." I say, and cross my arms over my chest.

"For me?" she says, and gives me her 'puppy dog' eyes.

I mumble, "Pammie."

Sookie crumples in a fit of laughter.

* * *

**Night 42**

"I have to go to the bar tonight. Would you like to come with me?" I ask as I get dressed, sorry to be out of bed and away from my wife's warm body.

"Oh Eric, I'm to old." she laughs.

"I am older than you, and I still go." I tease her. I flash her a grin.

"I look like I could be your grandmother." she says. She always says that. She never got over her insecurity completely.

"And I could be your grandfather twenty times over." I reply.

"Why do you need to go?"

"I have sheriff duties I have to see to. It cannot be avoided. I've put it off to long at this point. Felipe will not put up with me much longer, regardless of how much he likes you, I still have a job to do."

"I'll go." she says, and gets out of bed, and starts looking for something to wear. "How long do you think it will take?" she asks.

"Not long. An hour, two at most." I say, and she yawns. "If you are tired, you don't have to come."

"No, I'm alright. Just spent more time awake today that I planned. But I got a nap before you woke up, so I'm alright."

We head to the bar, and Sookie makes me take her in the employee entrance. She scurries to my office, and I follow. She sits on the couch and reads while I see to my duties. A few vampires new to the area come to swear fealty to me and my wife. I pass judgment on a vampire from the area who has stolen from another. Trivial matters.

"Eric, I'm going to go get something to drink, you want anything?" Sookie asks as she rises from the couch after the last meeting for the night.

"No, thank you." I say, and start to go through some paperwork Pam has left for me to sign. Sookie leaves the room. I stare at the paper in front of me, and start to read, but I find I'm reading the same line over and over. I cannot concentrate. I feel strange. I realize it is coming from the bond. Fear, apprehension… confusion.

I leap over my desk, and am out in the bar area searching for my wife. I find Pam at her side, trying to soothe her. Pam was tense, and saddened. Our eyes meet, and she backs away as I approach Sookie. I place a hand on her shoulder as she turns to me.

"Sookie, what's wrong?" I ask her. But I can feel it.

"Eric… where am I?"

* * *

**Night 67**

"She's to weak to leave her bed. I will do what I can to keep her comfortable." Ludwig says as she exits my bedroom. I lower my head. "This is new to me, Northman. I have never seen a condition like hers. She is unique to begin with."

"Thank you." is all I can say. Ludwig leaves. I go back into my room, and lay next to my wife.

"Sookie, can I get you anything?" I ask.

"No, thank you." she says. She allows me to hold her. We cry together.

* * *

**Night 77**

"Speak." I say as I answer my phone.

"Eric." the voice on the other end says. It's Pam.

"You have landed?" I ask.

"Yes. I am headed to my hotel. It is nearly dawn."

"Your trip?"

"Ordinary." she replies, and we are silent for a moment before she speaks again. "How is Sookie?" she asks quietly.

"The same. She's no longer speaking. But she seems to at least remember me most of the time."

We are both silent again before she speaks. "You will let me know?" she asks.

"I will." I say, and we hang up.

* * *

**Night 82**

"To hot?" I ask my wife as I test the water in the shower, and ease her under the faucet, holding her in my arms. She shakes her head that it is not.

We are in our shower. I hold her to my body with an arm and I soap up a sponge with the other. I start to lather her body, making sure to be gentle and soothing as I do. She holds her arms to my body, as if she is trying to keep herself upright, but she is weak, and it is doing nothing. Not that it mattered. I was more than strong enough to hold her.

"Do you remember our first shower together?" I ask, as I look down at my wife and smile. I have her held to my chest. She is facing me, her hands on my chest. I am rubbing her back with the sponge. She looks back up at me, and smiles. I feel her fondness of the memory. She rests her head against my chest.

We finish our shower, and I hold her up on the bathroom counter as I dry her. I plant small kisses on her cheeks and lips as I do to reassure her.

Once she is dry, I carry her back to our room, and lay her in bed. I put on her night clothes, along with the undergarment that she must now wear since she can no longer get up to use the bathroom herself. I look at her face as tears start to fall. Through the bond, I can feel that she is ashamed.

"I love you." I tell her as I finish, and give her a kiss on her lips. "There is no reason for these tears. I am your husband. You are my beloved." I say, and kiss her again. She smiles at me.

* * *

**Day 86**

My mind wakes. There are unfamiliar feelings in my chest, in my head. It is the bond, but I cannot tell what is happening. I struggle to open my eyes, but it is futile. I am conscious enough to tell that there is someone in my bedroom. It feels like Scarlett.

I am fighting for my mind to stay awake. The feeling in my chest remains, but it is no longer a shock. My body fights to go back to it's daytime slumber. My mind looses the battle.

My mind is woken again. This time, the feeling in my chest is growing.

It is the bond with my wife. This time, it feels like my core is being slowly torn from my chest. It is agony. I cannot wake. I fight with everything I have. A thousand years of strenght to wake. If only for a moment.

I feel like my limbs are moving. I want to scream. I scream in my mind. I am not sure if anyone can hear it. I can hear my daughter acknowledging to someone else in the room that my body is stirring.

She can hear my screams.

The pain is steadily rising.

My wife is dying.

Our bond is slowly breaking.

I lay in my daytime prison for an eternity before dusk falls. And then I wake.

* * *

**Night 86**

"Dad." my daughter says, and she is crying. I look to Sookie. She is taking slow, shallow breaths. Her heartbeat is slow and erratic. A tear escapes me as I lay my body against my wife's side.

Scarlett kisses my cheek, and then her mothers. She gives Sookie a hug, and kisses her again before telling her good night, and leaves the room.

"Sookie." I say, and hold her to me. I fight to keep the tremors in my body at bay. I am in pain from the bond dying. From my beloved dying.

She lays her head further against my chest. I try not to crush her in my grip. I cannot hold her to me close enough. I check what remains of our bond for pain from her, but there is none.

Her breathing slows more. Her heartbeat is almost non-existent. I feel love from her through our bond. My eyes are clouded with tears.

She inhales deep.

"I love you." I say. And she is gone.

* * *

**Thank you everyone for the love and kind words about the story.**

**Not sure what I'm going to do next. But hopefully will be soon.**

**Thank you again for reading.**

**Snoogans and Snoochie Boochies.  
**


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